Five Questions You Should Ask A Therapist Before Scheduling Your First Appointment
Choosing a therapist can be really tricky, but definitely not impossible. Sometimes you will have to “shop around” to make sure you are finding the right fit. Asking good, targeted questions before your first session is a really helpful way to tell if it would be worth scheduling your first therapy appointment or not. Whether it is over the phone or over email, I highly encourage you to not be shy and ask about all of the things you need to know in order to feel comfortable in your therapy session, including therapy modalities, therapist experience, and therapist pricing! Here are five questions to ask a therapist before your first therapy appointment.
What is Your Approach to Therapy?
It is so important to know a therapist’s approach to know whether or not it will meet your needs. Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions to understand as much as you can.
When I say “approach,” I really mean therapy modality. The theoretical orientation your therapist uses will set the tone and pace of each session. There is not one right or wrong therapy modality to use, but whatever you feel resonates with you. This can be why seeing somebody who is versed in 2-3 therapy modalities can be helpful; it allows you to try different ones out to see what fits and give your therapist feedback.
This does not by any means mean that you need to fully understand every therapeutic modality before interviewing a therapist. As therapists, our goal is to make therapy accessible and we are more than happy to explain what different therapy modalities look and feel like. If you’re starting therapy for the first time, jumping straight into EMDR might feel overwhelming, and a Cognitive Behavioral approach might be more comfortable for you at first. There are no rules, other than trusting your gut!
One of my favorite therapy modalities is Somatic Experiencing. You can learn more about it here!
What Experience Do You Have with Clients Like Me?
When choosing a therapist, this is where it is really helpful for you to have a good idea about what you are wanting to work on in therapy. This allows you to find out if that therapist has experience in working with people who have experienced the same things before your first therapy appointment. This doesn’t mean that a therapist has to have had a client exactly like you in order to work well with you, but having therapy experience and education in the subject is helpful.
Don’t be afraid to ask how comfortable somebody is with working with certain issues, like sexual trauma, gender identity questions, body image issues, etc. Although it isn’t always completely measurable, having an idea of how “successful” the treatment outcomes have been with that certain demographic can give you more confidence when choosing a therapist. Asking questions like “How do your clients know that they are done with therapy?” or “What do you typically see as signs that somebody is getting better?” are great places to start.
For somebody who has been in multiple therapeutic relationships, it can be helpful to find somebody who specializes in something you haven’t tried. Therefore, don’t be afraid to talk about the nitty gritty of what a therapist does! Again, it is our job to make it accessible and understandable. There is value in finding a therapist experienced in addressing your specific concerns.
How Do You Structure Sessions?
One way to get a good feel for how a therapist works is to find out the structure of therapy sessions. The questions to ask a therapist about would be frequency, length, and in person versus virtual meetings.
Frequency of a Therapy Session:
Some therapists will recommend a specific cadence to therapy treatment, such as every week or every other week, while others will be more flexible with scheduling. I like to recommend a specific frequency of therapy sessions for each client depending on what we are working on, while understanding that availability and finances are a part of the equation. Therefore, I’ll make anything work but with the understanding with the client that it might affect their rate of progress.
Length of a Therapy Session:
Therapists will differ in the lengths of therapy sessions, and some might even offer a mix of durations. Some have a therapeutic hour of 50 minutes, while others will go for 45 or an hour. It can be helpful to know the length of a therapy session so you know what to expect for your first therapy appointment.
Location of a Therapy Session:
Some therapists will offer only in-person therapy sessions, only virtual therapy sessions, or a mix of both. I like to offer my clients a mix of both as it can be nice for people to be able to meet virtually every once in a while for a variety of reasons like illness, commute, childcare availability, or desire to stay in pajamas! Before making your first therapy appointment, you should consider if any of this is a dealbreaker for you.
What do you like about what you do?
Here is where we get more into the subjective experience of finding a therapist. Choosing a therapist is kind of like platonic friend dating; it has to be the right vibe. They have to have that je ne seis quoi. This is why I love question “What do you like about what you do?” It is a perfect way to familiarize yourself with your potential therapist’s personality before your first therapy appointment.
Also, it can be telling. Do they have a hard time identifying an answer? Do they seem stressed out or burnt out? Do they seem to have a clear vision for where their work is going and the difference they want to make in the world? Does their passion come through? I don’t know about you, but I would definitely want to find a therapist who seems as hungry for progress as I am.
What is your rate?
This one may seem obvious, but for my anxious friends, asking this question can be hard. It will be important for you to know how much a therapy session costs because this will determine how often you can visit and how you will need to prioritize finances.
It can also be helpful to identify if that person has a sliding scale or accepts HSA/FSA cards.
Do therapists accept insurance?
Some therapist do accept insurance. Others are considered out-of-network providers. Oftentimes, out-of-network providers will give clients what is called a “superbill.” This is a document that you can submit to your insurance for possible reimbursement. It completely depends on what your out-of-network benefits are, but I have had clients receive up to 80% of my therapy session fee back from their insurance company. It is definitely worth a call to your provider before counting therapy out!
For more information about using a superbill for therapy, click here.
Finding the Right Therapist For You
The most important thing is to not be shy! Choosing a therapist is a big deal. Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions or send a follow-up email, text, or phone call so that you have all of your questions answered. I myself am always happy to hop on a call with somebody or exchange emails back and forth; it is important to me that all of my clients have a clear understanding of how I can support them.
If you're ready to start your therapy journey, don’t hesitate to reach out! I’d be happy to answer any questions you have and help you determine if we’re the right fit.
Contact me today to schedule a consultation or learn more about my approach to therapy!
Stevie Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
